‘Why Don’t You Just Give the Vagina You Have a Better Life?’

This and other important questions are raised by this 8-minute film we just discovered, Goodnight, Vagina, starring Cheryl Hines and Gary Cole. Reasons you should watch include the following lines: “I have a Bentley, so you know I’ve done this dozens of times.” And: “Your vagina died on the table.” Yep, there’s also a vagina funeral with a tiny coffin. We have a clip here; you can watch the whole thing here.

A Song for Pubic Hair Freedom …

God knows we’re all for the freedom to do — or, more importantly, not do — whatever you want to your vagina, grooming-wise. (Or, um, otherwise.) That’s why we were thrilled to come across this:

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Sexism's Latest Victim: Your Vagina

There’s a new sexist scapegoat: our vaginas. The way we’ve been treating our poor ladyparts — a sexist movement sadly led mostly by women themselves — is not just disrespectful, but downright unacceptable!

No longer is it cutesy to nickname our lady business ridiculous things such as “vajayjay,” adorn her with rhinestones and — for the love — make her go under the knife to reclaim her youth.

The two latest vagina-upgrade “trends” include vagina facials and — seriously?! — makeup to make your pink parts prettier, specifically, to “restore the pink back to a woman’s genitals.” (If this confuses you, which is understandable, what they’re getting at is pinker = younger.) The way things are going, women are spending more time and money to alter the appearance of their privates than working on finding her a play date. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather end my day with an orgasm than have to carefully swab anti-inflammatory ointment on a fresh set of rhinestones or newly “tightened” labia.

Taking care of your vagina is important, and I’ll even get behind waxing — despite its feminist complications — as a means to a  neat-and-tidy end. But treating your vagina like a pageant queen or refugee in the name of keeping up with the Kardashians — and every other sex-tape/porn star out there — is taking it too far.

Ladies, please: before you invest in anything to change the look, shape, or “attitude” of your vagina, please take a moment to appreciate how awesome she is — just the way she is. If you’re suffering from low-vag self-esteem, check out these awesome websites that remind you why vaginas — and women in general –  rule. Or simply ask a guy what he thinks of them. Guaranteed he’s not going to wax poetic about rhinestones or a specific shade of pink.

What do you think about vagina adornment trends?

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