An Ode to Odes to ‘Kisses Down Low’

We love Kelly Rowland’s new album, particularly her instructive “Kisses Down Low,” part of a great musical tradition of detailed step-by-steps about how to go down on a lady. In honor of Ms. Rowland’s breakout album and her celebration of female sexuality, we offer this list of Great Songs About Cunnilingus (which is to say: any songs about cunnilingus):


Bikini Kill, “Sugar”


Khia, “My Neck, My Back”


Madonna, “Where Life Begins”


Missy Elliott, “Work It”


Mariah Carey, “Bliss”


Lil’ Kim, “How Many Licks”


Christina Aguilera, “Woohoo”


Janet Jackson, “Anytime Anyplace”


Liz Phair, “Glory”


Foxy Brown, “Candy”


The Gossip, “Swing Low”


Sheena Easton, “Sugar Walls”


Lady Gaga, “Teeth”


“Raspberry Swirl,” Tori Amos

Love Life Advice from Beyonce

Yes, yes, we all know about “to the left, to the left” and “all the single ladies.” But if you listen to Beyonce’s oeuvre in its entirety as I have, thanks to a borderline obsession and a lot of workouts, you will find she has a very clear, complete philosophy on relationships that goes beyond great kiss-offs. A few of our favorite tips, as only Beyonce can give them:

From “Ego,” lines to use on the man you’ve got your eye on:

Some women were made
But me, myself?
I like to think that I was created
For a special purpose
You know?
What’s more special than YOU?

Well, you got the key to my heart
But you ain’t gonna need it
I’d rather you open up my body
And show me secrets you didn’t know was inside
No need for me to lie.

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‘Inside Amy Schumer’: How Women’s Mags Come Up With Those Sex Tips

If you’re wondering why we started our own site, this Inside Amy Schumer sketch pretty much covers it:


The Best Feminist Porn and Erotica

booksIn this guest post, Los Angeles-based sex therapist Moushumi Ghose, co-host of The Sex Talk web series, recommends some great female-centric porn and erotic options. For more feminist-friendly sex advice, join us at The Pleasure Chest in LA July 10, where we’ll be leading a panel discussion and Q&A with Ghose.

Not all porn is created equal. Feminist porn and erotica is a genre that caters to the feminine senses of lust sensuality, eroticism and sex, drawing from the emotion centers of pleasure but are for men and women alike. On a deeper level porn may be considered feminist because the actors are treated fairly, with respect and with equality in terms of wages, gender roles, consent, beauty, pleasure, and more. I have devised a list of my favorite feminist porn movies (and the sites where they can be accessed) as well as some of my favorite erotica from the last year. Please note that there is so much well-made erotica and porn out there made by women that this list is by no means all inclusive, nor is it in any particular order.


  1. Lust Cinema presents Cabaret Desire: A Swedish director who relocated to Barcelona, Erika Lust has created her most personal and sensual film to date. Erika Lust and Lust Cinema are committed to incorporating women’s voices into adult entertainment, and this movie is a sensual delicacy.
  2. Lesbian Curves by Courtney TroubleFor women by women, this sexy film explores the far reaches of girl-on-girl sensuality and sexuality.
  3. I.M. in Love, available on BrightDesire.comI am a sucker for sexy nerd stories, so this nears the top of my list.
  4. Best Women’s Erotica 2013 by Violet Blue: This compilation of erotica, selected and edited by Violet Blue, is playful, smart, and of course sexy—told from female perspectives, these stories highlight female pleasure in every story.
  5. [Read more...]

Links for Sexy Feminists: Against “Dieting”, Safer Sweatshops, Women Vote in Pakistan, More

Against the “Diet”: A poignantly inspiring tale of a woman who watched her father waste away due to self starvation and vows to embrace her own plus -ize figure. If you’re ever at a loss for body positivity, may we recommend reading and rereading this compilation of advice from fat women who love their curves. Meanwhile, having broken the “We don’t want fat people” Abercrombie story, Business Insider charts a precipitous drop in the brand’s popularity following the story.

Safer Sweatshops: On the other end of the fashion cycle, we were encouraged to hear that several prominent retailers are committing to improve factory conditions in Bangladesh.

Rethinking Choice: One woman’s interesting take on the semantic argument between “Life” and “Choice.”

Surprise!: Greater access to and education about birth control leads to fewer abortions. Interestingly, education in the study led many women to conclude that an IUD was the right choice for them, suggesting that the long-term solution may be underused.

Sex Positivity: Thanks to Jezebel for this primer on the so-called “looseness” of the vulva. NSFW.

Mommy Life: One woman’s story about coming to terms with postpartum depression and accepting that her husband could be the better caregiver at the beginning.

Activism Works: The Florida teen whose science experiment caused a minor explosion has had charges dropped after internet activists accused the accusers of racism. Meanwhile, though Disney has publicly backed down from its Merida makeover, only time will tell if they’re changing her back.

Women in the World: Pakistani women braved threats of violence to vote this past weekend, while Kuwaiti women are gaining grounds for athletic competition. Coming from a different religious perspective, Israel has struck down the mandate that women and men be segregated on public bus rides through conservative neighborhoods. Meanwhile, Canadian students created this funny and thought-provoking spoof of gender roles in advertising.

Links for Sexy Feminists: Men’s Rights Activists, More Steubenville Fallout, Keeping Dads Involved, and more

Death to the Patriarchy: Jezebel’s inimitable Lindy West succinctly breaks down why everything MRAs rail against are symptoms of patriarchy, not feminism.

Continuing the Steubenville Dialogue: A U of Rochester econ prof put up a thought experiment about “reaping the benefits” of a passed-out individual on his blog, which upset quite a few folks, understandably. Meanwhile, an awesome male feminist starts a dialogue with teenage boys on how to not rape girls. And a queer-friendly blog has some great thoughts on why the silence of a female partner should not signify her consent.

Involved Dads: Iceland requires dads to take paternity leave, and having Dad help out so much in the early stages helps gender equality, both for the household and across the small country.

Dating Dan: A well-intentioned, self-aware man with Asperger’s and OCD searches for love, raising interesting questions about self-disclosure for all of us who have “issues.”

Exotic Dancing: The Frisky offers an anonymous expose of what a dancer deals with at a high-end strip club.

Female Condoms: Sexy and Empowering or ‘Ew’?

Dr. Donna Espeut takes on the female condom debate in this guest post.

For some of us, male condoms are the go-to, dual-protection method, even though there are other options in our cache of safer sex tools. Female condoms, on the other hand, get little or no love. A recent piece on suggests that this case of unrequited love is justified. (Tracie Egan Morrissey writes, “female condoms are just ew.”) However, here are four reasons why we should stop giving the female condom the cold shoulder:


1. It adds a dash of empowerment to our safer-sex pursuits.

Of all the methods designed to prevent both pregnancy and STIs, only the female condom bears the distinction of being completely woman-initiated and woman-controlled. A lubricated and soft hypoallergenic sheath with a flexible ring on each end, it fits in with our diverse sexual repertoire. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, when used correctly, a female condom’s effectiveness in preventing pregnancy is 95 percent, compared with 98 percent for male condoms. Female condoms also cover more of the external genitalia than male condoms, offering better protection against herpes and other STIs. Those of us who have grown weary of negotiating male condom use every time we have sex might therefore find a welcomed bedfellow in the female condom.

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Links for Sexy Feminists: The Feminine Mystique, Fashion Week, Lena Dunham, and more

The Feminine Mystique: 40 years after the landmark book’s publication, Stephanie Coontz reflects on why gender equality stalled. On the positive side, a recent study suggests that menopause and grandmothering were critical to human evolution.

Diversity is Hot: NYC just wrapped up Fashion Week, and way too few women of color hit the runways.

Your Rights at Risk: Just in case you thought Mississippi was the only state passing legislation that severely endangers a woman’s right to choose, Alabama is here for you.

Exhibitionist Girls: Vulture on why Lena Dunham may be an iconic feminist but her nude scences aren’t “brave.”

No to Shame: On the other side of the world, feminist women are courageous in standing up for their human rights.

Hey Oscar! Women are talented behind the camera, too, yet the categories with no women or one woman nominated suggest an industry bias.

Links for Sexy Feminists: Valentine’s Day, One Billion Rising, Mansplaining, and more

Conversation Hearts: As Valentine’s Day approaches, let’s all take a moment to consider the plight of women in abusive relationships. And hope that the Violence Against Women Act makes it through the House. If you’d like a side of activism with your V-Day, seek out a One Billion Rising event near you.

Women are Citizens: The problem with Obama’s rhetoric in the State of the Union, explained at Feministing.

Opposite Day: Hilarious tweets which point out the clear silliness of Men’s Rights Activists.

Mansplained! A space for accomplished women to vent when men don’t take them seriously. And check out this list of ways society lies to women.

People Aren’t Props: Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition has a problematic approach to “other” cultures in this year’s issue.

Stay Cool: Fun valentines from Ryan Gosling, Forever Alone Guy, and Vladimir Putin (?).

Links for Sexy Feminists: Vulvas, Sheryl Sandberg, Chelsea Welch, and more

Lights Out on Superbowl Trafficking: Beyoncé owned at Superbowl halftime. Don’t believe us? Check the NYT. But even our favorite independent lady can’t distract us from raising awareness of huge human trafficking concerns that come to light with the Super Bowl.

Vulvas are Vonderful: If the “Barbie” vulva offered by plastic surgeons makes you cringe, check out this awesome artwork with sex positive tips on a woman’s natural exterior “down there.”

Jesus the Feminist: Feminism and Christianity may not be as mutually exclusive as it seems right now.

Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg is making waves as “a pom pom girl for feminism.” The WSJ got a sneak peak at her upcoming book, and points out that her privilege prevents her from understanding the struggles regular women face.

Chelsea Welch, the waitress who Applebee’s very controversially fired, speaks out in a new piece. Jezebel on the social justice aspects of tipping, and Feministe on the unacceptable service side of not tipping.

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