I love chocolate, and I love vanilla ice cream, but guess what? I am not going out of my way for a Klondike bar anytime soon. I used to love Burger King’s French fries, but lately, I’d rather have fries at McDonald’s. And Carl’s Jr.? The last time I bought anything there was in 1998. Why? Well, Klondike, your insanely misogynistic “man cave” online campaign lost me completely. And while I chuckled at your Whopper and Whopper Jr. campaigns, Burger King, your King commercials—with a jerky pantomime patriarch—are a real turnoff. And what the hell was up with that XXX SpongeBob ad?
As for Carl’s Jr., you lost me long before you hired Paris Hilton to gyrate on a car. Your late ’90s campaigns showing people shoving your food into their mouths while smacking, slurping and snorting made me want to vomit.