Links for Sexy Feminists: Rapists explain themselves, Salon talks to Amy Sherman-Palladino, and more …

Rapists Explain Themselves on Reddit: Wow. Jezebel encourages us to read, and we agree, disturbing as that is.

Raising Awareness About Postpartum Depression: More should be done to seek treatments and help new mothers, The LA Times reports.

Yes, We Just Wrote About Open Relationships: But we love this post on HowAboutWe detailing the unexpected benefits of long-term, committed relationships. If anyone uses a significant other as Google, it’s us. (We have smart significant others.)

Salon Declares Amy Sherman-Palladino TV’s Funniest Woman: Gilmore Girls fans, we hope you’re watching Bunheads to get your fix.

Women’s Rivalries on the Small Screen: Nashville and Political Animals go beyond catfights, Slate’s XX says.


How Women Are Ruling The Olympics

The 2012 Olympic Games kicked off last night in a blazing ceremony in London’s West End. The Games brings enough excitement on its own. A symbol of diplomacy, peace and honest competition, the Olympics represents people—from around the world—at their best. This year, women are taking center stage. Here are but a few reasons to root for the ladies this year:

Working moms rule. Belgium gold medalist Tia Hellebaut carried the flag for her nation during the opening ceremonies. Since the Beijing games in 2008, Hellebaut has had two children and she’s back to compete in the High Jump. And Malaysia’s shooter, Nur Suryani Mohamed Taibi, is nine months pregnant. She may not win a metal but she’s sure to bring home a prize before the games are over.

Saudi Arabia sends women athletes to the Olympic games for the first time, causing feminists to rejoice and the oppressors within Islam to keep doing what they do. Their presence, however, is revolutionary.

With Brunei and Qatar also sending female athletes to the Olympics for the first time, this is the first time all participating countries (more than 200) have women athletes on their teams.

Women outnumber men on the U.S. Olympic team for the first time. 269:261.

Team USA’s Claressa “T-Rex” Shields is a 17-year-old middlweight from Flint, Mich., vying for gold in women’s boxing, a new event at the London Olympics. Kind of the definition of “kick-ass” right here.



Links for Sexy Feminists: Chick-fil-A, Mariah vs. Britney, and more …

Katie Couric to Lean Into the Whole ‘Perky’ Thing Already: At least that’s what we’re getting from the bits of info being reported about her new talk show, including the Sheryl Crow theme song, as detailed on Jezebel.

Zoe Kazan’s ‘Ruby Sparks’ Reviewed: The Atlantic weighs in on the young actress’ much-anticipated screenwriting debut.

More Junk Food Products Weigh In on Gay Marriage: There’s this whole Chick-fil-A thing happening, if you didn’t know yet — a quick summary in The LA Times.

Men and Women Can’t Be Friends: So says science, as reported on HowAboutWe.

The Reality Singing Show Diva Arms Race Is a Dangerous Thing: Richard Rushfield weighs in on why Britney and Mariah were hired to judge The X Factor and American Idol — and in neither case is it about singing ability.

The Affordable Care Act Kicks in Aug. 1: With lots of goodies for women’s health. Here’s a breakdown of what it could mean to you.

Open Relationships: Feminist or Not?

Putting ourselves first in life and love can lead to a happier, healthier existence. Namely, because it allows us to be ourselves. But when this translates to a romance without borders—call it polyamory or an open relationship—does the same satisfaction ring true? We weigh the pros and cons of an open relationship from a feminist perspective.


Some women feel that to settle is to sacrifice. One woman I talked to said, “Open relationships are empowering.” She’s been in one for three years and counting. She describes a sense of liberation, and though she and her partner rarely venture outside of their primary relationship, she says being able to openly discuss and partake in experiences with others promotes a higher level of honesty, a deeper understanding of one another, and brings them closer as a couple.

Researcher estimates indicate that 30 to 60 percent of married people are guilty of cheating on their spouse.  With statistics like that, it makes one wonder if it’s even biologically possible to be completely fulfilled—sexually, physically, and mentally—by one person for a lifetime. Not everyone takes their coffee the same way, why should we accept that everyone wants the same things when it comes to relationships? Understanding that choice is the power.

Open relationships are no different than casual dating. In fact, one woman in a traditional relationship described her opinion of open relationships as “renting versus owning” in the sense that people in them seem to be with one another out of convenience and are not willing to put down roots just in case something better comes along.

When some venture outside of a relationship, it’s often on a quest for something they’re not getting. A little bit of self-reflection may be what’s in order, not a string of one night stands. It’s important that couples look at what each partner is, or is not, bringing to the table by way of mental and physical stimulation and try to understand why each is not being satisfied. If it’s fixable, fix it together. If it’s not, everyone is better off by moving on.

– Kristin Tschannen

Links for Sexy Feminists: Little girls want to be sexy, female boxing debuts at Olympics, and more …

Six Year Old Girls Say They Want to Be Sexy: This, according to a study detailed on Jezebel. We’re torn: On the one hand, we hate the idea of little girls feeling pressured to be sexy, when that is not something they physically can do until their teens, when things get even more complicated. On the other hand, we remember being 5 and declaring, as prompted by a L’eggs pantyhose commercial, that we had “sexy legs.” Our mothers laughed at us but otherwise ignored it, and it went away, and we turned out relatively fine, and we’re certain we did not know then what “sexy” really meant. And now we grew up to be feminists with a website with “sexy” in the title. So it’s not all completely hopeless, is what we’re sort-of, maybe saying.

Female Boxing Debuts at Upcoming Olympics: The Atlantic hips us to a cool documentary project about the youngest girl boxer headed to the games, known as T-Rex.

Yay, Girls!: Lots of Emmy nominations for funny ladies, The LA Times reports.

Ann Romney Breaks Out the “You People”: Salon reacts.

Is Single Motherhood Worse for Children?: Slate debates.

Why Marriage Should Never Be a Goal (And Divorce Isn’t Failure)

As someone who just moved in with her boyfriend, I’m particularly sensitive to media reports about cohabitation being “bad” for relationships. In fact, as we were discussing the move in the months leading up to it, we talked about this a lot, often sending each other links to studies and articles claiming, essentially, that living together leads to breaking up; specifically, they seem to conclude that cohabitation before marriage leads more often to eventual divorce. We kept saying, “This just doesn’t make sense.” And we weren’t saying that because we were desperate to live in sin. We were saying it because it really, truly doesn’t make sense. Given that marriage usually means living together, why would people who tried it first break up more often? And if this is true, is it necessarily bad?

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Links for Sexy Feminists: New HIV drug, Condi for VP, and more …

Turning Blog Posts Into Published Essays:’s Jennifer Armstrong will join BlogHer’s Rita Arens and essayist Susan Goldberg to talk writing at BlogHer’s conference next month in New York. Our talk is at 10:30 a.m. Aug. 3 — for more details on how to join us, click here.

Dating sites encourage men to be interesting, women to be doormats: Jezebel investigates how little has changed.

New drug could prevent 90% of HIV infections: But, of course, it’s not that simple, The Atlantic reports.

Rock goddess Stevie Nicks to reunite with Fleetwood Mac: Her old band will tour together (minus Christine McVie) next year, says the LA Times.

Condi Rice could be Romney’s VP: Or so say the latest rumors, as dissected by

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Feminist Relationship Dilemmas

To continue with our “Loving While Feminist” series of posts — we’ve already talked dating, boyfriends, and girlfriends — we’re tackling feminist relationship dilemmas today.

Dilemma #1: It turns out it’s time to get married after all. You’ve spent a ton of time dissecting and critiquing the institution of marriage. You know it has historically treated women as chattel. You know almost every part of a traditional wedding ceremony is deeply sexist, hopelessly materialistic, or both. Then, as time goes by, you fall in love with a wonderful man. You move in together. You are a freelance writer, so you really wish you could share his corporate insurance. You would like to be able to visit him in the hospital if he gets sick or have an automatic say in his health decisions if the worst should happen. Maybe you even daydream about a nice, small wedding — what’s wrong with declaring your couplehood to the world? We say, go for it! You don’t have to do your wedding or marriage the way others do. Have a small or totally private ceremony. Become domestic partners instead of spouses. Hammer out your own custom relationship contract. There are plenty of ways to customize committed relationships these days.

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FemiNoshing: Is Weight Watchers worth it?

Absolutely, it is — since I lost 17 percent of my body weight in six months. But only to a point. Then, I had to quit before I lost my mind.

It was 9:30 a.m. on Sunday, and I was busy weighing my underwear on the digital kitchen scale.

The cotton bikini briefs weighed two ounces more than the frilly string bikini bottoms. Frilly string bikini bottoms it was! The bras were a wash — both were cotton with underwire. I briefly considered removing the wire from one of them (they were on sale at Target, so no big loss), but decided against it.

The rest of my outfit waited on the kitchen counter — a very light cotton skirt and a tank top. Together, they weighed less than a pound. With the underwear, 1.2 pounds. The shoes were irrelevant, since I’d be removing them anyway.

Then, I had half an hour to purge breakfast. No, don’t worry — there was no vomiting. I was just hoping the coffee would kick in, and then — you know. My body would work in that special “Activia” way, hopefully ridding me of at least half a pound.

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Links for Sexy Feminists: Men can’t have it all either, women save publishing, and more …

Oh, look! Men are capable of worrying about ‘having it all,’ too: The discussion continues in The Atlantic.

Apparently men are as obsessed with their bodies as we are: gives us 41 key moments in male body image.

Get ready for lots more bondage novels: And all things erotica — Fifty Shades of Grey is basically saving the book market, The LA Times reports. Seriously, one in five books sold since spring. If it wasn’t clear before that women are the publishing audience, it is now.

In defense of single people: ponders why we’re still pitying the singles even though they dominate our demographics.

Oakland woman sues for sperm: A lesbian hoping to conceive using a friend’s sperm is suing the Food and Drug Administration for the right to do so without the burden of costly tests required for “body-tissue transfers,” the SF Gate reports.

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