Mixed Emotions About the Royal Wedding

I’m a woman, raised on Disney princesses and engagement ring commercials, same as you. Happily Ever After was sold to me as more than just a concept, but an end game. And this week the world paid witness to the real-life fairy tale of a prince and princess getting married. The media went ape shit, Twitter crashed, and I desperately sought out an alternative. The whole thing kinda pissed me off.

Don’t get me wrong, I love love, and even at my most feminist I’ll defend a woman’s right to throw a big party, wear a gorgeous white dress and change her name, if that’s what she wants. My wedding was everything I wanted it to be, and every day I appreciate the commitment and permanence of marriage. But I can’t help but wince a little when the world decrees the most important thing, like, ever, a big, fancy wedding. For weeks, devastating natural disasters, killed American soldiers and a drowning economy have been overshadowed by two kids in England getting married. On CNN, the most ridiculous, racist (borderline treason) political campaigns against the President of the United States are glossed over, while a photo gallery of wedding dress contenders takes up half an hour.

It’s this obsession with marriage that irks me. Correction, it’s this obsession with an idyllic wealthy, white man and woman getting married that irks me. I’m not hating on William and Kate, bless them. But when was the last time you saw the media go ga ga over a minority union, inter-racial marriage or gay marriage for that matter? I also hate the force-feeding of Happily Ever After (see, still going on) to women around the world. The global focus on this wedding reinforces the most anti-feminist message around: Get married, ladies, and all your dreams will come true. Not only is this snagging-a-man mission insulting to both genders, but it devalues the greatness of women as individuals. How about all your dreams can come true because you can make them come true, diamond ring or not?


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Author: Heather Wood Rudulph

Heather Wood Rudúlph is the co-founder of SexyFeminist.com and recently FeministMommy.com. She's a seasoned editor and writer, most recently for The Huffington Post, AOL, DAYSPA magazine and Movies.com. She’s written and edited stories about entertainment, beauty, healthcare, fashion, travel, teens, spirituality, women's rights, civil rights and environmental practices. Her work has also appeared in Seventeen, Elle, Details.com and The Los Angeles Daily News. She teaches nonfiction writing for Gotham Writers Workshop and is co-author of the book, SEXY FEMINISM, to be published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt in March, 2013. She has a journalism degree with a sociology minor from Syracuse University and lives in California with her husband and son.
About Heather Wood Rudulph

Heather Wood Rudúlph is the co-founder of SexyFeminist.com and recently FeministMommy.com. She's a seasoned editor and writer, most recently for The Huffington Post, AOL, DAYSPA magazine and Movies.com. She’s written and edited stories about entertainment, beauty, healthcare, fashion, travel, teens, spirituality, women's rights, civil rights and environmental practices. Her work has also appeared in Seventeen, Elle, Details.com and The Los Angeles Daily News. She teaches nonfiction writing for Gotham Writers Workshop and is co-author of the book, SEXY FEMINISM, to be published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt in March, 2013. She has a journalism degree with a sociology minor from Syracuse University and lives in California with her husband and son.

Comments

  1. Annette Wood says:

    Yeah. Sad, but true. It is a happy occation to celebrate, but should’t take precidence, obscuring other important world issues.
    I actually paid little attention to all the media play on this. I was busy with life.

  2. Roane says:

    I am most bothered by the fact that the masses of the world are more interested in this falsified fairy tale than actually paying attention to the actual issues that are taking place in the real world.

    And I’m also bothered by the apparent affectionless relationship that William and Kate apparently share. Sorry, gals, but this is the 21st century, and I believe that that sort of etiquette is no longer relevant in our time. If they truly loved each other, we would see them holding hands during their public appearances and perhaps even catch them giving each other a peck here and there. Heretofore (although I admit I haven’t been party to watching every moment of the wedding and its build-up), the only time I’ve seen any physical contact between them is just after their engagement was announced, where Kate demurely clung to William’s arm and in the “lovely” Princess-Diana-and-Prince-Charles pose of their official engagement photos.

  3. I agree. I avoided it as well. Very unpopular of me. Love and marriage is a fairy tale in many ways. I remember Charles and Diana and how that ended.

  4. Ebony Wilson Davis says:

    Heather…great post! I miss you guys out here in LA. This is so on point I cannot believe Lifetime rushed out and put a movie out, news was pre empted and taken hostage, and life basically was put in a royal wedding bubble almost commanding that everyone forget the struggle to pay bills, understand why their sons and daughters are fighting a war with no clear end in sight, and a generation of children lost to MTV and mindless reality shows….Television is such a powerful media, and its clear that people are succumbing to its images in the current state of our society…one day we’ll use it for good.

  5. Noel says:

    What’s even sadder is the cost of the royal wedding… which could feed many small countries. However, everyday the news saddens and depresses me. I am tired of local news focusing on violence and crime. I don’t think the wedding should have trumped headline international political news affecting the world, however, as a news junkie who typically walks away feeling disheartened, sad and depressed over ‘what’s this world coming to,” the royal wedding was a nice vacation. There is something of value in being able to fantasize and escape, even just for five minutes or a day. At this point, any news that focuses on something positive like love or marriage I would welcome reading about… the other 364 days of the year I’ll have to settle for terrorism, robberies, murder, fraud, natural disasters, political corruption, etc. At least one day I got to gasp at silly hats and still get my daily dose of news.

  6. Natalie Wilson says:

    Great post — I discovered it while researching for my reaction to the Twilight Breaking Dawn Trailer (posted here: http://seducedbytwilight.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/breaking-dawn-trailer-analysis-you-are-cordially-invited-to-the-event-that-will-change-everything/) which is also bothersome for the same reasons — for, as you put it so well ” it’s this obsession with an idyllic wealthy, white man and woman getting married that irks me.”

  7. Richard Aubrey says:

    The cost of the royal wedding was paid to people who work for a living, not pitched into the shredder.
    I don’t like nationalized health care. That makes me a racist, right?
    Sheesh.

  8. Michelle says:

    You crazy women need to have your heads checked. The wedding was divine.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] union that recently captured the public imagination, Kate and William’s royal nuptials. Like the sexy feminist, I was annoyed with this wedding and its hijacking of our mental desktops. As she asked, “when [...]

  2. [...] union that recently captured the public imagination: Kate and William’s royal nuptials. Like the sexy feminist, I was annoyed with this wedding and its hijacking of our mental desktops. As she asked, “When [...]

  3. [...] union that recently captured the public imagination: Kate and William’s royal nuptials. Like the sexy feminist, I was annoyed with this wedding and its hijacking of our mental desktops. As she asked, “When was [...]

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