Too Smart to Come?

It’s tough being a well-educated woman with a career.

Last year we learned that women with high IQs don’t get married – and that men would prefer to marry their secretary rather than their peer.

This year, we learned that if you make more than $30,000 per year, work 35 hours a week or more outside the home or have a university-level (or higher) education you are more likely to cheat and get divorced, less likely to have children, unable to keep house, and somehow able to make your husband physically ill.

But this year also dealt smart women an even more gutting blow: A Canadian study found that smart women are also less likely to have orgasms during sex.

The study, published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, found that better-educated women are more likely to have low sex drives and less likely to climax if they can muster the energy to get started. Some 48 percent of university-educated women report problems compared with 31 percent of high-school grads.

It’s not the first time that researchers have correlated the inability to orgasm with advanced education: Even when I’d seek out some kinky light reading in my graduate school library, I’d find dire news on the topic. Sex in America: A Definitive Study (1994) revealed that while women like me were more open to inventive sexual positions, masturbation, and experimentation, orgasms weren’t always on the horizon. Not only was I unmarriageable, but I was also fairly unlikely to enjoy the hard-won lovin’ I could find.

Are smart women too uptight to enjoy sex? Do we overthink the primal act until achieving orgasm is impossible? Or are we just more honest about our sex lives?

In my new book, “Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women,” I coined an acronym for all of us smart, successful single gals: SWANS – Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse. After reading these surveys, I wondered if we should amend that to “Strong Women Achievers, No Sex.”

Before you quit your job, put your hair in rollers, and reinvent yourself as a sexy dumb honey, read on. I promise it gets better. Guys do make passes at girls who wear glasses.

[Read more...]


He's a Husband, Not a Child or a Houseplant

By the time I met John, my co-worker Paula’s husband, I was aware of every single one of his faults. I knew the last five stupid things he’d done (forgotten to do the dishes as he’d promised, failed to mail a birthday card to her sister, purchased the wrong kind of soup at the grocery store, left the car unlocked with his cell phone in it, and didn’t pick up his wet towel on the bathroom floor). From the way she’d described the guy to me, I was shocked he wasn’t openly drooling.

We were at a mutual friend’s wedding, sitting around at a banquet table, and I was next to the (as Paula often called him) “total moron.” He was talking to me about football, one arm wrapped around the back of his wife’s chair, and though he didn’t flash a Nobel Prize in physics at me, he knew quarterback stats, he was polite, and he couldn’t say enough good things about his wife.

And about halfway through our conversation she turned around and snapped her fingers at him.

“Go get me a drink,” she said, then turned back to the talk she was having with a girl on the other side of her.

Jesus Christ in a prom dress!

Ladies: A man, once and for all, is not a pet.

[Read more...]


Switch to our mobile site